Relationship expert, matchmaker and psychologist, Yvonne Allen talks to Deborah about the trend she sees in professional women who feel the need to adopt perceived masculine traits in order to achieve success and how this can be problematic.
“I don’t believe a lot of the traits we were told we needed to do as if a man, we needed to do,” said Yvonne. “We have so many gifts, like being able to think of many things at once, that men don’t have,” said Yvonne.
“The credo, do it as if a man and do it better than a man, should have been, do it as a woman and excel,” said Yvonne.
Speaking generally, Yvonne’s solution to achieve success is to balance the stress levels of “achieving at all costs” and focus on harnessing the female feel good hormone oxytocin by communicating regularly with our female friends.
“I think there are a lot of women who do not have intimate friendships (where they are just) letting it down, letting it all out and just being,” said Yvonne. “That is something we really, really need to do.”
Yvonne gives an example based on one of her husband’s clients (Yvonne’s husband is a life coach) whose life was transformed by the simple task of connecting with female friends for an hour each night.
“There’s no magic about that it’s just biological,” said Yvonne.
Yvonne Allen e-book – Working Women. Having it All! 10 Insights for the Busy Woman
Surely the time has come for us to respect and appreciate our differences as men and women, living and loving together. This does not mean reverting to the traditional role models. However, it does mean that whether in our personal lives or the workplace, gender differences should be acknowledged. Our lives and relationships will benefit as we build bridges of understanding.
How do we balance a successful work life and a successful personal life
“We’ve got to make a conscious decision about it,” said Yvonne.
“There are too many women who go to work, go to the gym, go home, go to work again without doing what Steven (Yvonne’s husband) helped this client do and that is, contact women, talk with women, nourish your female friendships,” said Yvonne.
“There is no reason why we can’t be hugely successful and have a really good personal life,” said Yvonne.
Yvonne Allen e-book – Love Today. What’s Gender Got To Do With It?!
I believe that there is very little we cannot achieve as women these days–while also having a fulfilling personal life –if we appreciate, nourish and express our female essence rather than hide who we are behind a male persona
About Yvonne Allen
Yvonne Allen is an author, public speaker, psychologist, matchmaker and relationship consultant and has been recognised in Australia and abroad for the work of her consultancy and as one of Australia’s leading businesswomen. In 2000 she was profiled by BRW as one of Australia’s leading innovators. Yvonne is a contributor to several publications on social issues and is also a sought after media commentator.