Daily Word Vitamin

Too Good To Be True

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Too often the dreams we secretly hide and hold close to our heart get dismissed or filed in the TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE (for someone like me) basket.

Giving ourselves permission to be the best versions of ourselves is where we start detoxing from the TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE (for someone like me) mythunderstanding. Remembering we’re worthy of reaching for the ‘top shelf’ dream options in life, is a liberating daily discipline that makes just being in our own skin an adventure and a delight.

So let’s rummage through our hearts filing basket for any unrealised dreams today. While we’re at it it might also be time to check that we have supplied three emotional filing systems for ourselves to help us untangle our egos fantasies from our heartfelt desires.

When working with emotional fitness clients, and on my own internal self care and improvement I often have to some deliberate emotional sorting.   In the hustle and bustle of our busy lives it’s easy to misfile goals, dreams and fantasies.

So we need to ensure we have three separate emotional filing baskets. One for goals, one for dreams and one for fantasies. Like we do for whites, darks and delicates before we wash our dirty laundry.

Our goals are areas of self care or self improvement we wish to embark on that we have a formula for and know that with effort and commitment we can get there. Goals call on our ego’s intellect or our knowing.

Dreams crank it up a notch and often they get filed in the “TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE” fantasy basket. Our dreams involve much more than our ego’s effort and commitment, they require faith. If we have no faith we will find realizing our dreams almost impossible. We don’t have to be religious to have faith. For some however their religious faith is something they lean on when working towards a dream. For others who prefer to not follow a religion working out the faith muscle is still essential if we choose to realise any heartfelt dreams. Dreams call not on our ego, but on our heart. We need to build our emotional fitness by isolating and pumping the muscle of faith. It can be faith in love, nature or the gravitational reality of the scientific universe. Faith requires heartfelt openness to believe in a greater good, a higher power a better world for all humanity. Dreams build self respect, integrity and are often slow burners we work towards refining and improving on all of our lives. Working towards realising healthy heartfelt dreams gifts us with an emotionally grounded deep sense of wellbeing. We know it’s a healthy dream when it involves a win, win result for ourselves, families, lovers and humanity.

Fantasies are all about instant gratification without effort or commitment. They are the shortcut route. Fantasies operate from an emotionally immature rationale that requires no heartfelt faith, effort or commitment. We can pay good money for a fantasy to be realised and there are many willing actors that happily take our cash to pretend to fulfill our fantasies. But all fantasies have a use by date. They are costly on our integrity often presenting an emotional bill that no amount of money can redeem our self respect with. Fantasies are attractive to pleasure junkies. Pleasure is a short term emotive human state, usually based around libido, adrenalin based activities and appetite. Wellbeing that derives from our goals and dreams is not transient like pleasure is designed to be, but subtle and consistent. So our fantasies require not our intellectual knowing nor our heartfelt faith in love or life, our fantasies are where our own emotional rebellion, frustrations and private personal bullshit tend to land. Fantasies require our sense of humour and mature compassion when filing them. We’ve gotta own them and acknowledge them for what they are, simply a human fantasy, not fear them nor misfile them, otherwise they will own us.

As a recovering alcoholic/addict I’ve personally had to do a great deal of work on untangling these three emotive filing baskets. Us addicts or pleasure junkies no matter whether its booze, drugs, food, gambling, sex, obsessive exercise or laziness, cleaning or computerizing all have work to do in the emotional maturity department. So many like me live in fantasy land. It’s said us addicts don’t just build castles in the sky. We actually move in!

I’ve been clean and sober since 1995 so my muscle of faith isn’t 52 years old like my body. It’s only been utilized for the past 19 years of my recovery. So when it comes to emotional maturity and learning to separate goals, dreams and fantasies I’m officially still in mid adolescence as adolescence is roughly calculated to be from age 15 to 25.

I once filed a life of self respect, emotional transparency, a healthy happy marriage and feeling at peace with being the best parent and friend I am able all in the TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE basket. Anything that required effort, discipline, commitment, self respect and especially faith was once impossible for me to comprehend. Living happily ever after in our own skin is not a childhood fantasy. It’ our birthright, our dream to claim with all our heart.

Miracles are simply the realisation of what once seemed impossible. Doing the U turn from fear and emotional self neglect towards love, faith, self respect and a win, win approach to life is not TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE for any of us.

It’s time to turn our cant’s into cans, sort out our goals and our fantasies from our dreams and now give ourselves permission to find a way not an excuse?

Lotsa love Cynthia xxx


© Copyright Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™

Cynthia Morton

Cynthia is the bestselling Author, Blogger, Lecturer and Founder of the multi award-winning Emotional Fitness Program. Since 1995 she has helped nearly 30,000 Australians – from the leaders of commerce and industry, indigenous communities, elite athletes and teens – improve their emotional health and well-being. Her extraordinary work has been recognized with an Australian of the Year Award (Qld. Local Hero Category 2005), The Prime Ministers Award of Excellence Award, and The Pride of Australia Medal.