There seems to be a common theme amongst woman who are looking for love and a lasting relationship. They are disillusioned and disappointed with the lack of organic ways to meet a partner and are tired of the whole internet dating scene.
Statistics show that going on a date that was instigated via a dating website is becoming less and less successful. Sad but true, women are becoming more disheartened and less trusting of the dating scene because of this portal, which leads to self-esteem issues and fears about their potential relationship future.
What many people do not realise, is that the unhelpful references of one failed date after the other, builds a library of evidence within the mind, such as dating equals rejection, abandonment and a sense of hopelessness, so what is the point in trying anymore!
Over a period of time the mind learns that being exposed to these vulnerabilities is deemed unsafe. So, a once confident and trusting person can become mistrusting and fearful about meeting someone and may retreat into depression and avoid a romantic life altogether.
When someone feels beaten by the whole love life scene what they may not realise is that there is an inner personality that encourages the self-doubt and anxiety about finding love.
There can be inner saboteur at play which I call The Inner Critic. It is the part that goes on every date with you and says, ‘You look terrible in that dress’ or ‘He is going to think you are too shy or not slim enough or clever enough.’ When someone has a strong Inner Critic it will attempt to sabotage the best made plans to feel good about yourself.
The Inner Critic will weave its way into a hopeful relationship meeting moment by its inner commentary which can, without you being aware of it, make you feel what it says is true.
The science behind love
Quantum Physics is a science that studies matter and energy. What is interesting about recent data is that the scientists have studied thoughts and there is enough evidence now to affirm that your thoughts are energy. These thoughts are transmitting to the world around you without you having to say anything at all!
In other words, what you are saying internally to yourself, if negative in nature, can be picked up on by the person you are communicating with, and this includes your potential love partner.
I am not suggesting everyone should feel super-duper confident when they are looking for love because it is completely normal to feel hesitant and a little nervous. However, an inner, natural confidence and glow in who you are is a very attractive quality that can be magnetic. It can make the difference between an unsuccessful meeting and an opportunity for you both to explore more about each other if you choose from a confident place.
Exuding a natural, charismatic personality that people find attractive, takes practice. I don’t believe people are born with natural confidence – we need to learn it!
A person who is charismatic and has mastered the art of a healthier inner dialogue, or in other words, has learnt to tune out of their Inner Critic will energetically be more attractive. The domino effect is they will be more open to who they like rather than ‘who the Inner Critic says won’t like them.’
Another issue that arises from a strong Inner Critic when looking for a loving relationship is that negative thinking hinders intuition. Being negative can extinguish that gut feeling you have when something or someone is good for you.
It is therefore, key to create healthier inner conversations because it will open up doors to amazing people that you had never thought of before. Without an Inner Critic ranting on at you, you can become more authentic to who you are and know who is truly good for you and your self-esteem and who is not.
Some top tips on how to start to become The Charismatic person you truly are:
- Write down what the Inner Critic says about you, then write the opposite about yourself and the great qualities you have. Keep the positives statements around you, such as on a post-it note, and set your phone alarm every hour to remind you of these positive comments about yourself.
- Imagine 5 minutes a day seeing yourself getting ready for your date feeling calm and confident. Rehearse over and over again coming home feeling good about what you said and how you handled yourself. The more you do this the more your mind is learning it is safe to go on a date and feel good about you.
- Keep reminding yourself that you don’t have to be attracted nor attractive to everyone and that the world out there has lots of potential dates and relationships but only the ones that are good for you.
- Each time you hear an Inner Critic comment, breathe it out and know that it is not the truth but just a negative conversation. Then breathe in calm and positive comments such as ‘I deserve to attract a healthy relationship’ or ‘It is safe to trust that I have the ability to attract a positive relationship.’ The more your mind hears this, the more your mind will discover this is your truth.
Cracking the Love Code
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