Listening to your own internal chatter for a day can give you some insights into how you treat yourself. I am not talking about how many uber facials, pedicures or awesome spa treatments you have had this month. Of course I am always a big advocate of those!
For now I am talking about how you treat yourself deep down in your core, in your internal dialogue. So often we sit in someone else’s shoes judging ourselves. Replaying an inner chatter about all the “don’t likes” about yourself or your life. Someone once said to me “remember, what anyone else thinks of you is none of your business”. I found this to be a super useful reminder of how unhelpful it is to engage in this self-sabotaging, stewing pot of negativity.
When we step outside our comfort zone and push the boundaries of our daily routine then we can get a great glimpse of how much love or burden we live with. For most people when you get asked to do a presentation or a speech it can be great trigger for our inner critic to go into overdrive and remind you of all the reasons you shouldn’t or couldn’t do this. Then you start doubting yourself with a realm of questions like:
- Why do I think I can do this?
- What do I have that is worth of sharing?
- Surely this is common sense?
- I will be found out?
The list goes on and on, on the treadmill of self-sabotage, so by the time you actually get to the event and to say your first word you feel like finding the closest emergency exit and forgetting about this whole crazy idea. The original authentic message that you laboured over for days becomes overshadowed by the clouds of self-doubt and it all ends up feeling like jumbled mess.
When we can master the art of stepping out of someone else’s shoes and stand in our own we begin the process of acceptance and true confidence. Every time a thought comes into your mind of self-doubt simply find a way to be your own reliable A team support crew. I have found there are some great questions you can ask yourself to help you establish how to move forward and build a support crew drill for emergencies.
- How would I support a friend in the same situation?
- What could I do to move a step closer to feeling confident?
- What judgements could I let go?
Over the years of continually stepping out of my comfort zone and sometimes feeling like jumbled, nervous wreck I have created my own awesome A team drill. When we go into lock down there are two drills for my own internal crisis!
- I visualise a hand coming up in front of me with the STOP hand signal and then I follow this with saying (internally) “not useful”. This is so easy and effective to apply no matter where you are. It stops the negative spiral and takes you back to more productive and supportive thoughts.
- I also have a quote on my phone and whenever I feel the need to remind myself I read this quote – “I am right where I need to be, doing exactly what I need to be doing. Proving my fears to be totally groundless”
It is about developing your own A team drills for when you need it. Supporting yourself like you would your best friend. By consciously changing you auto pilot thought patterns you can start to get into the driver’s seat of creating your own amazing level of awesomeness. I love to remind myself regularly that “I am growing and evolving and every day I learn how to live a more calm and happy life”. It is not about perfection it is about living.
So next time you get the opportunity to step outside your comfort zone, take a deep breath and say “yes please”. Then check in with your own A team support crew to navigate the path ahead in the lightest and happiest way. Enjoy the journey.