Rejection is one of the hardest life lessons we all need to learn to navigate with some form of ‘grace’.
It is the ‘kick in the guts’ experience that sends you to your knees and I have found that the timing for rejection is always impeccable.
Rejection has a way of showing up when you are at your most vulnerable, suffering your lowest self-esteem on record, and really questioning your direction, your life, and sometimes even your very existence.
Rejection comes in all shapes and sizes. There are little rejections such as a friend choosing to not meet you for lunch or big huge rejection such as a partner leaving or a promotion snickering past you on the way to the person less qualified and less deserving.
Rejection has a fine way of making you feel like the ‘reject’ and leaving you spinning into a helpless abyss accompanied by every other major loser on the planet.
Rejection is like a barricade. It blocks you out, pushes you backwards, and laughs at you when you trip and fall. Rejection tempts you to give-up and quit. It comes loaded with a long list of why you can’t do it and why the ‘brilliance’ you have to offer is not wanted or needed.
Rejection is hard, it hurts, and it burns through to the core of ‘who you are’, singing every last thread of ‘self-worth’ on its way. But here’s the thing… rejection is also good, necessary, and even required for ultimate success and fulfilment.
Rejection is an ‘invitation’. It invites the virtue of ‘resilience’. The first response to rejection is ‘despair’ and the next steps are to ‘repair’ and then ‘prepare’.
Repair your damaged ego, your strategy, your approach, and then most importantly, ‘prepare’ your response. How you respond to rejection is key.
You can either take it like a ‘victim’ and curl up in a tight little ball, rolling around on the bathroom floor for the next five years, or you can slowly get up, splash some water on your smeared face, make yourself a strong cup of tea and plan your intervention.
Going with the latter, you need to do some analysing. What was the rejection? Why were you rejected? Was there an opening for a second bite of the cherry? Was it thanks but no thanks or was it thanks we’ve found someone else? Are you in alignment with this person or thing? Could it be that there’s something better and it’s time to move on or is it worth fighting for?
These are all the questions you need to answer with a clear mind, open heart, and strong connection to the wisdom of your soul.
Jia Jiang was rejected when he was a little boy and the experience haunted him for years to come. He decided to tackle this harsh ‘lesson’ head on. He actively sought out rejection for one hundred days – from asking a stranger to borrow $100 to requesting a ‘burger refill’ at a restaurant.
Jiang’s theory was that he would ‘desensitise’ himself to the pain and shame that rejection brings, and in the process, he discovered that simply asking for what you want can open up possibilities where you expect to find dead ends. Jia Jiang’s ‘experiment’ can be viewed on a Ted Talk and it is very entertaining.
From my perspective, Jia Jiang’s experiment while brave, doesn’t quite encompass it all. For starters, he wasn’t asking for anything that he really wanted or truly needed at a ‘deep’ level.
These are often the hardest things to obtain and when doors close or they are taken away, the pain is often unbearable. People fear rejection so much that it often paralyses their ability to ‘ask’. Rejection sits in line with public humiliation on the scale of most feared experiences.
I do believe however that rejection builds in you ‘resilience’ and this is the attribute you need to help you handle is just a little better each and every time it rears its ugly head.
Go forth and face your fear of rejection knowing that you are becoming stronger and building character which ultimately makes you a more attractive, appealing person in the end.
“Holifest” by Noni Boon
In Holifest, her fourth book, Noni Boon offers an easy, two-ingredient recipe to follow to initiate self-growth, build strength of character, and achieve abundance in all areas of your life while evolving into what you can become.
Abbreviated from holistic-manifest, Noni describes Holifest as the power and force that rockets “manifest” to “magnifest.” Noni has designed an effective, accurate, and holistic way to manifest through developing greater strength of character and establishing a deeper knowledge of self. Holifest is built on a list of twenty-one specially selected virtues that you will discover and develop in yourself to enhance your mind, body, and soul.
Holifest gives you the creativity, courage, and confidence to transform into your next best magnificent self, move up to what you can become, and begin living your greatest life yet. When you change yourself, you change your world.
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