By Noni Boon
If you had to give your self-esteem a rating out of ten, where would it sit? Do you have high self-esteem, around an eight or a nine? Or do you have low self-esteem, around a two or a three? Do you know what self-esteem really is? Are you able to easily receive a compliment and actually believe it? Self-esteem is a combination of how you feel about yourself, how much you can ‘rely’ on yourself, how independent you are, and what your self-image is like. Let’s look at some ways you can improve your self-esteem and build upon what you already have.
Do you ‘like’ who you are? People with high self-esteem actually ‘love’ who they are. You may ask how to go from liking yourself to really loving yourself. For me, it is about giving myself permission. I consciously look for the goodness, the kind and nurturing aspects of myself. I connect with the ‘love’ I have inside me that is ready and waiting to share with others and give it all to myself first. The more you love yourself, the more equipped you are to love others.
Can you rely on yourself? Do you let yourself down or keep your own promises? The more you can depend on yourself to carry through with your choices and decisions, the more you will develop self-reliance. Knowing that you have a strong sense of ‘commitment to self’ will help you to build a relationship with yourself that you can trust and feel secure about. If you make a promise to yourself, no matter what happens, keep it. If you can’t rely on yourself, you will find it very hard to rely on others.
Are you financially, emotionally, and spiritually independent? Even if you are a married woman, a stay at home mum, or a full-time housewife, you can still have your own financial security. If your partner is the family provider or the one who provides for you, it would ‘pay’ for you to know how all of the financial aspects of your existence work. Know your way around the bank accounts, passwords, pin codes, terms and conditions of any loans, credit card facilities, mortgages, investment properties, etc. Education is power. Inner power leads to high self-esteem.
Your self-image is a combination of how you view your personality, your strengths, individual qualities, unique gifts, talents, and traits. Self-image is also built on how you view your physical appearance and how that is reflected back to you through other people. Pay attention to how you present yourself to the world and listen carefully to any compliments that are sent your way. Take on board all the lovely warm things that are said about you and give yourself permission to believe them with all your heart.
Self-esteem is built upon how you see yourself and how others see you. When you achieve your goals, there is a dual result. Firstly, you feel good about yourself and your accomplishment gives you a sense of pride and fulfilment. Secondly, others see it and witness it in you. You will receive positive feedback and acknowledgment from others, which you can digest happily in your ‘self-esteem bank account’, which is coincidentally located in the area of your solar plexus, navel, and digestive system, known as your ‘third chakra’.
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Noni Boon is an author and motivational speaker. She also happens to be our Balance Wellbeing Coach. If you’d like to know more about how you can improve your self-esteem, take a look at her five principle program called SHARE (Self awareness, Holistic wellbeing, Ambition, Relationships that thrive, Enthusiasm for life) which we are offering as an online course through the Balance website.