By Jeanette Muscat, LPT
Well, yes, other than being strong, sassy, savvy women – they chose balance. They recognised imbalance in their lives and chose to address it, and to do things differently.
Many people experience some kind of pressure to be on top of everything in their lives, to be in control, to be many things to many people, and, in some cases, not to be seen to be struggling, when we are quite possibly falling apart. This pressure is sometimes greater for women in the public eye – who perhaps put even more pressure on themselves to sustain this unrealistic – and unhealthy – ‘construct’ of ‘having it all’.
Enter Exhibit A: Former TV presenter Rose Jacobs.
From the outside, and even to people close to her, Rose was seemingly living “the perfect life”. But, despite the (unintended) façade of perfection, in reality, she was losing her mind – and her shit.
As a non-confrontational person, she recognised her behaviour was out of character, and she finally listened to her gut, and did something about it. By moving to Vanuatu – as you do!
Easier said than done. And while running away to another country or from your problems doesn’t solve anything – “wherever you go, you go” – she realised making some kind of positive change was better than doing nothing at all.
You know the story – what sometimes lies behind the happy clown’s mask is a sad clown? Funny people get sad too, right?
Enter exhibit B: Denise Scott. Funny bastard. She’s endured the highs and lows of the erratic life of a stand-up comedian-cum-actor, and is renowned for her ability to be both an absolute riot and empathetic and endearing.
Yet after a whole year of feeling somewhat immobilised by a series of disappointments, she said, “I really lost my mojo a bit… I sort of thought I might just lie down for a minute and a year went by.”
We all have ‘stuff’, but not all of us address it. But by being floored – for a whole year – by these emotions, Denise realised she had suppressed a lifetime of issues that weren’t going anywhere. So so she, too, did something about it, and sought counselling. Like Rose, this recognition of her emotions, and decision to act, has made a world of difference.
“I was going a bit crazy in my own head. It’s like just saying stuff out loud sometimes is enough.”
Speaking of funny bastards. Enter Exhibit C – Julia Morris. While she, too, doesn’t believe ‘the perfect work-life balance’ exists, she focuses, unsurprisingly, on finding the funny in daily life.
“That’s what keeps you buoyant. Regardless of what Instagram is showing you, no one’s getting it right all the time.”
But even for this hilarious gal, it’s not all sunshine and roses, either. Last year she said she was “so frustrated that I thought my head was going to explode off the top of my neck”.
Like Rose and Denise, she did something about it. She sought professional advice from a psychologist, despite the stigma that is sometimes attached to psychotherapy.
She embraced cognitive behaviour therapy – which changes a person’s pattern of thinking or behaviour – so she can now “accept the things I can change and dissolve in my mind the things that don’t have any business with me”.
These three women – and Deborah Hutton – first recognised the imbalances in their life (in whatever form they manifested), and most crucially, acted on them (in whatever form that worked for them). Whether it’s related to physical, mental or emotional health, they recognised that when just one of those things is out of kilter, the rest – the whole self – will suffer, as well as impacting those around you.
Of course, we can’t all hop off to Vanuatu, get weekly shrink sessions or have a frontal lobotomy, but we can choose to do something different. We can choose to get help. Balance offers online life coaching programs that can help you change your outlook on life, kick bad habits, get rid of negative thought patterns and design a life you want.
Check it out at learn.balancebydeborahhutton.com.au
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jeanette Muscat is a writer, editor, print and digital publisher, and self-confessed word-nerd. To find out more about Jeanette click here