Couples

Is a bad relationship better than no relationship at all?

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How many women you know are suffering in a bad relationship because they are too afraid to be on their own? What prevents us from walking away from an unhealthy relationship?

Dr Dain Heer is an international speaker, author and the co-creator of Access Consciousness. In this interview he explains how fear prevents people from admitting that their relationship is not working. He also talks about the excitement and ‘aliveness’ that can be felt when one embraces change.

A step by step plan for how to give up bad relationships

1) Know everything is just a choice including a relationship.
Ask yourself if you really want to be in a relationship?  Our society says you “must” have a relationship or there is something wrong with you. What if that’s not true? What if relationship was simply a choice and you could choose to be in one or not – whatever works for you?
2) Stop giving up the things you enjoy .
Do you like to dance? Swim? Jog? Do you still do all of the things you love?Or have you given them up because your partner doesn’t like them? Giving up things that are fun for you never works. You end up resenting your partner and most of the time this is the reason they fell in love with you in the first place
 
3) Be grateful for your partner exactly as they are or don’t be with them. Trying to change someone never works and is full of judgment.
 
4) Stop Judging- Recognise judgment is a killer.  Today’s expectations become tomorrow’s judgment. Judgments are a quick killer to any relationship. 
 
5) Stop comparing to others
How much do you compare yourself to others? Or compare your partner to others? The problem with comparison is we always end up concluding that something must be wrong with us. Comparing only destroys. Instead, choose gratitude and see what that can create. Even if it is gratitude for ending a relationship.
 
6) Look towards the future and don’t look back. When you find yourself at the end of a relationship ask the question “ What else is possible now that wasn’t possible when we were together?”

 

More from Dain Heer

Who would you be if the world never gave you a label?

Get out from Under the Overwhelm!

Got the blues? Three tips for finding hope

An invitation from Dr Dain Heer

How Dr Dain Heer’s online program works

Dr Dain Heer Being You Program

About Dr Dain Heer

Dain Heer is an internationally renowned author, speaker and facilitator of consciousness, and change and for the last 14 years has been inviting people to embrace their true greatness. His book, Being You, Changing the World – Is Now the Time? is published in seven languages. For more information visit http://www.drdainheer.com

Balance Team

This article was written by the brains trust of Balance . We are a talented team of writers and contributors with real life experience and a passion for finding balance.

5 Comments

  1. Janice

    July 27, 2015 at 7:06 pm

    Very true, however there is the small matter of finances to consider. Very hard to make that move when your mid life would suddenly become financially hard.
    It’s not all black and white – if only.

  2. Deborah

    Deborah

    July 29, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    That’s so true Janice. You’ve touched on a very big problem. I’ve just been made aware of some very alarming statistics around the growing number of newly single women who are homeless because they have spent their lives caring for families and don’t have any superannuation or savings of their own to fall back on. There is no easy answer

  3. MC

    July 31, 2015 at 8:33 pm

    Seeing as I have no kids, I have only myself and my main man Billy to look after so for me the answer is most definitely no. A bad relationship is soul destroying and for me, that is worse than a financial setback (of course not to the point of being homeless).
    As for your australian system and homemakers not being entitled to superannuation (I had to look that up): quite frankly that is shockingly appalling. In my country the homemaker can draw off their partner’s pension rights for the years they have not been working and were married.
    Shame on you Australia!

  4. Alicat

    August 1, 2015 at 8:24 am

    I was going to make the comment about finance and it I getting worse. The is a significant increase in homeless women in their 50’s and it is the fastest growing group. They simply can not afford to rent or buy, especially in the capital cities. Many of them are employed, but in lower paying jobs. They live in their cars or couch surf.

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