Daily Word Vitamin

Heart starters for Valentine’s

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Cynthia Morton and Mr Delicious

Cynthia Morton and her “Mr Delicious”

By Cynthia Morton

I was delighted when I was invited to contribute a piece on emotional fitness for lovers.

Valentine’s Day, as we all know, is a time of appreciation and celebration for lovers.  It’s the annual “red roses and chocolate heart” day.  But while for some it is all about the delight of romance, for others it’s a time to dismiss or even dread. Most of us have had experience at some time or other of being either deliciously in love or deluded and devastated that it’s over.

Those of us who are interested in creating beautiful and romantic love lives know only too well how much effort is required.   Consistent patience, self-examination, courage and vulnerability are some of the basic essentials, but it’s hard work and often damned inconvenient.

The difference between mediocre partnerships and fan-bloody-tastic intimate relationships is a couple’s willingness to remain “emotionally fit”.  This involves a consistent commitment and attention to the small personal things that matter to our lover’s heart.

Every day we need to try to be our best for each other, but it’s easy to become emotionally complacent.  So we can actually use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to create more (or reboot) romance in our lives – to stop focusing on the rest of the world for just one day and pay extra-special, intimate and loving attention to our lover to let them know how grateful we are for loving us through the best and worst of our behaviour.

Complacency in relationships kills off the fun, romance, desire and delight, so it’s a wise investment to put extra effort into our intimate relationships on Valentine’s Day – to show our love and heartfelt desire by paying attention to the common senses (sight, smell, taste, touch and sound) of the one we love.

So here are some emotional fitness suggestions, as heart starters, to help create or reboot romance by simply honouring our loved one’s five common senses.

Sight

It’s the small visual gifts of beauty we can offer – perhaps a night at the movies, a cup of tea in bed, an empty dishwasher, a smile or even just a loving cheeky wink to start the day.

Smell

A gift of a favourite fragrance or massage oil, maybe just wearing a perfume or an aftershave that they love, or the gift of fragrant flowers.

Taste

Maybe a home-cooked favourite meal, a special chocolate left on their pillowcase or dashboard, or passionate ice-cream kisses.

Touch

A tender belly, head or back tickle, foot massage or other delicious delights that only you know how to deliver.

Sound

Put on some music they love, take them to a concert or give them a new music compilation that you’ve created especially for them.

These intimate, romantic actions of sensitivity speak straight to the heart and can transform a mediocre moment on Valentine’s Day (or any day, for that matter) into a magical and memorable one.  The more willing we are to see and acknowledge beauty in our loved ones, the more beautiful we become to each other. And the more love we practise giving in our relationships, the more cuddles, smooches, smiles, great companionship and tender hand-holding we receive.

So with Valentine’s Day before us, let’s treat those we love with more intimate appreciation. Those who love and forgive us continuously are life’s priceless gift to us.  Let’s not miss this opportunity to improve our emotional fitness by addressing complacency that might be creeping into our love life.  Only we can ensure our intimate relationships become magical rather than mediocre.  In my view, unless it’s a deeply committed, passionate, brave and a beautifully irresistible loving relationship, it’s a waste of our time.  There are too many boring, mediocre, below-average things in this world… and our love life shouldn’t be one of them.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Lotsa love,

Cynthia xxx

 

Cynthia Morton

Cynthia is the bestselling Author, Blogger, Lecturer and Founder of the multi award-winning Emotional Fitness Program. Since 1995 she has helped nearly 30,000 Australians – from the leaders of commerce and industry, indigenous communities, elite athletes and teens - improve their emotional health and well-being. Her extraordinary work has been recognized with an Australian of the Year Award (Qld. Local Hero Category 2005), The Prime Ministers Award of Excellence Award, and The Pride of Australia Medal.

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