A word from Deb

Goodbye to my soulmate

By 

I don’t know how to write these words but I’ve lost my soulmate. Billie was hit by a car last Friday.

She was my world, my everything, my joy, and she taught me about true unadulterated love, to a depth I never thought imaginable. I cannot begin to fathom the loss. ?

Billie has been by my side for ten joyous years. We were a team, I took her everywhere, to work, film shoots, to Pilates, business appointments, lunches, dinners, weekends away, she was my shadow.

I feel her sole purpose in this world was to bring happiness and joy to people’s lives. Especially mine. Faces would light up with a smile as she’d walk past, dog lovers or not. She was a gift. Billie brought the best out in me and taught me to be a better person.

I got Billie after I lost my first brother Rod, as a way of somehow filling the hole. Not having had children, she was my child and I cherished every breathing moment of being with her. We shared an unbreakable bond through years of holding onto each other through life’s ups and downs.

With my saddest heart, I wanted you to know how lucky I was to have had the most beautiful, unconditional love from the purest of souls. #RIPBillie

Deborah Hutton

Deborah Hutton is the publisher of Balance by Deborah Hutton. She is passionate about helping woman to define their own recipe for balance

20 Comments

  1. Judy

    March 16, 2017 at 6:45 pm

    dearest Deb, I have just heard about Billi, and I’m so sad for you,a very special little person, thinking of you with love.Judy Hancock

    • Deborah Hutton

      March 27, 2017 at 9:40 am

      Thank you Judy. It’s been a tough time.

  2. Lily

    March 18, 2017 at 10:39 pm

    This is too sad.

  3. Matthew Anderson

    March 22, 2017 at 9:19 am

    Deb! That’s awful. sending you lots of love sweetheart XX Matt

    • Deborah Hutton

      March 27, 2017 at 9:40 am

      Thank you. xxx

  4. Pattee

    March 23, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    I am so sorry to hear you lost such a precious soul in your life . I have been through it and understand . We have lost dogs to old age and choices that had to be made but last year our wonderful Brittany was hit by a car . It was devastating . Grieve in the way you need to.

    • Deborah Hutton

      March 27, 2017 at 9:42 am

      Pattee, I’m so sorry you have had to go through the same thing and thank you for sharing.

  5. trudy

    March 25, 2017 at 4:47 am

    oh Deb know how you feel lost my Little Beau 3 weeks ago at 11 and was devastated as I know you are my heart aches for your loss. be kind to yourself they are ownley ever on loan to us for such a short time. Let the universe loan you another special soul when your ready

    • Deborah Hutton

      March 27, 2017 at 9:42 am

      Thank you Trudy for your beautiful words. xxx

  6. Christine

    March 26, 2017 at 8:57 am

    Feeling for you as you experience immeasurable grief at losing the love of your life, your best friend and most loyal companion, your holder of secrets and your greatest joy. They are not just dogs or pets – they are our truest loves.

    • Deborah Hutton

      March 27, 2017 at 9:44 am

      Spot on Christine. Billie was my shadow and my support crew.

  7. Deborah Williams

    March 27, 2017 at 12:54 pm

    So sorry to hear your sad news. We have been through the same, losing our geougeous Zac. Like you, a repacement child, it is so hard to see you will feel the same again. The memories will get you through , how lucky you were to have an amazing companion and friend.

    • Deborah Hutton

      Deborah Hutton

      March 27, 2017 at 3:25 pm

      Thanks Deb. I know that working through the emotions of enormous grief and pain comes gratefulness. I have that and have always had that with Billie, never taking her for granted.
      I was incredibly lucky to have ten years with her. I know the pain will subside. Just wish the tears would stop. Thx for caring x

  8. Helen

    March 28, 2017 at 3:20 pm

    Dear Deborah,
    I am sitting here with tears rolling down my face thinking of the loss of sweet little Billie and the pain you must be going through. Not really sure what to say, I swore I would never get another dog after the loss of my last dog but alas as I sit hear typing I have a little friend asleep and snoring at my feet. That is the problem with having an animal you usually outlive them so you have to accept that you will loose them but that’s no consolation. Remember that you also gave her a wonderful life with lots of love.
    All the best,
    Helenx

    • Deborah Hutton

      Deborah Hutton

      April 2, 2017 at 5:03 pm

      Helen, thank you so much for your caring words. You’ve been there, so you know the pain that comes with such an horrendous loss. My heart hurts and everything reminds me of her, as she was constantly by my side. Perhaps when the house finally wraps up its renovation, and I have taken the time to heal – I may consider getting another dog. A rescue puppy. I really appreciate you writing, I’ve had such amazing support from both close friends and my gorgeous community of Balance friends…it means so much to me. Deb x

  9. Mac

    April 2, 2017 at 4:47 pm

    Dear Deb,
    Losing a pet is really hard but you can deal with it when their (way too) short life has run its course because that’s nature’s way but when they’re not at the end of their life, it hurts so badly. We feel so responsible for their wellbeing…..just don’t yourself give a hard time and don’t go into the “what if” mode…and just know the tears are a heartfelt tribute to little Billie who gave you so much love and joy.
    From what I’ve read, Billy had the best life possible. Too short but absolutely fabulous.
    Your best friend is no longer physically here but she will forever be in your heart. And no one can ever take away the fond memories you will always have of her.
    Sending you some strength to hold on and to get through these horrendous times.
    Mac

    • Deborah Hutton

      Deborah Hutton

      April 2, 2017 at 4:57 pm

      Hi Marie,
      Beautiful words – thank you so much for taking the time to write to me. I’m sitting here at home about to go through latest house plans and I find myself always looking over to where Billie used to sit. My heart hurts. The house feels so empty without her. It’s going to take quite some time to move on but everyday I feel a little get stronger, Im just keeping busy. Thanks again for your caring words…you’ve obviously been in a similar situation. Deb x

      • Mac

        April 2, 2017 at 7:01 pm

        Hello again,
        From one dog lover to another…even though words cannot change the situation, I just wanted you to know lots of folk are feeling your pain.
        Dogs are so special, no matter what we look or feel like, they are always happy to hang out with us. People without dogs don’t understand how profound your love can be for these special little creatures.
        You know Deb, being able to love with all of your heart is the greatest gift of all but it’s also the reason why you feel pain the way you do.
        I’m sure you will have a little spot in your beautiful home that will always remind you of your little soulmate.
        x M

  10. Kerry

    April 2, 2017 at 7:31 pm

    Dear Deb, Perhaps they are not the Stars, but rather openings in Heaven
    Where the love of our lost ones pours through & shines down
    Upon us to let us know they are Happy. -Eskimo Folklore.

    Kindest regards Kerry

  11. Patricia

    July 30, 2017 at 4:13 am

    I am so sorry for your loss. There is nothing like the unconditional love dogs bring.
    I lost my dog due to illness three years ago. The loss made me very unwell for a while. But then things looked up when I bought two dogs- brother and sister.
    It proves that life is empty without the love from a dog.
    Kind regards,
    Patricia

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