Let’s talk about family FAVOURITISM.
There are psychological models that allocate dysfunctional roles children are given when adults are emotionally uneducated in how to parent differences in children’s personalities.
You’ve probably heard them before… The Hero child, The Scapegoat and The Lost child.
The hero child who can do no wrong.
The scapegoat child who can do no right (very often a middle child) and …
The lost child or “the baby” who is let run wild or sometimes it’s the extreme opposite this child is over protected and never asked to take personal responsibility.
For the allocated emotional scapegoats in biological families bypassed as the hero child gets emotionally fed (like myself) we require not pity nor revenge, but self compassion as our heart slowly heals this deep umbilical wound.
As parents, step parents, aunts and uncles let’s all be so very acutely aware of how deeply sharp and damaging FAVOURITISM is to a tender child’s heart.
May we all be just a little more mindful in seeing and acknowledging the unique beauty in the differences of introverted and extroverted, academic, sporty and creative children and treat them all with the love and respect they deserve?
Let’s also not forget that these children wounded by FAVOURITISM grow into often fragile adults that can and will heal over time with patience, and compassion.
FAVOURITISM is a wound that’s invisible and confusing to the adult hero children yet emotionally crippling for the surviving scapegoat children, who often choose hero partners because they know the emotional dance steps so very well.
Biological family FAVOURITISM may have been a problem and wounded our hearts however heart family can be the solution that heals our hearts.
In my view the word family means there is no FAVOURITISM, no ganging up, no leaving out and no disloyalty. And if we weren’t born with this family wealth of blessings biologically, we can absolutely build it for ourselves in adult life.
It’s never too late for our hearts to heal.
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™