Does he tick all the boxes? How your check list can set you up for relationship failure


When it comes to finding an ideal partner, many women (and men!) have a detailed check list and are not willing to compromise! Even when you find the ideal partner, how do you communicate effectively to have a successful relationship?

According to relationship expert, mentor and psychologist Yvonne Allen, independent women with uncompromising lists can leave men feeling confused and at odds with their biological makeup.

“First of all, a man has got to feel like a man,” said Yvonne. “Men were wired to be the protective provider throughout history,” she said.

“The trouble is so many women are so strongly independent that the sense from the man is: she doesn’t need me,” said Yvonne.

Yvonne’s tip for the independent woman is “to let him know he meets your needs”.

“Often these break ups that we have so regularly now in our lives are not necessary. I wish there was better ways of building the understanding and communication,” said Yvonne.

“You’ve got to understand that men when we communicate, are not understanding our downloading because they are really wanting to be able to solve our problem,” said Yvonne.

“The bottom line is really how do we take care of us as women, which isn’t about makeup and everything else, it’s about our hearts,” she said.

Yvonne Allen e-book: Winning with Women. 10 Valuable Insights for Today’s Male

Over my many years of providing a way of meeting for discerning singles who’d like to share life in a great relationship, it has been interesting to observe that those open to meeting more than once and to developing a friendship have been more likely to establish a lasting partnership. Rather than dismissing someone on the basis of a first encounter as not ‘the one’, they have enjoyed the opportunity to get to know someone –and be known –beneath the surface.

Often our work with clients involves getting them to focus on their real needs when it comes to a partner and sharing life. Many have been setting themselves up for disappointment before they even have the opportunity to go on first date! Maybe like a large number of our clients you have not also asked yourself the question –‘and why is the partner I seek looking for me?’ Often our wish list can be the cause of unnecessary unhappiness as we are searching for someone who does not have us on their agenda!

Yvonne Allen is the author of Successfully Single, Successfully Yourself and numerous mini e-books available on her website

For more information about Yvonne Allen & Associates click here

About Yvonne Allen

Yvonne Allen is an author, public speaker, psychologist, matchmaker and relationship consultant and has been recognised in Australia and abroad for the work of her consultancy and as one of Australia’s leading businesswomen. In 2000 she was profiled by BRW as one of Australia’s leading innovators. Yvonne is a contributor to several publications on social issues and is also a sought after media commentator.

A member of the Balance Team

1 Comment

  1. Alex

    August 31, 2017 at 1:04 am

    What do you think , would it be a good idea for me to reassure my friend who broke up with his couple? He is so broken after the break-up.
    The worst part is that he doesn’t know why is it happened with him. He is so sad, doesn’t speak with anybody… It is difficult to see him in this condition. I want him back to normal life so I’m thinking to arrange him a date. I guess I can help him to find his love. Hope that everything will be fine.I have seen a matchmaking website . Has anyone tried this agency ? Would it be a good idea for me to contact with them? How else can I help my friend?

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