A word from Deb

Is that your mother talking? #mostreadarticle


Call me shallow but it takes a minute or two to get past those ‘Dr Dreamy’ eyes to focus on the words coming out his mouth. Mind you the last time I sat down with Dr Dain Heer, I was going through a tough relationship time so my brain wasn’t quite 100% focused!!

The timing was serendipitous as I somehow selfishly turned the interview into a personal counselling session but what better person to talk to, as Dain has spent most of his life helping people create better relationships, not only with the people around them but most importantly, with themselves.

He talks about questioning the many thoughts and beliefs that constantly come into our mind…are they actually your own thoughts or have they been passed down from your parents and become indoctrinated? As he’s talking about this I can hear my Mother’s words ringing in my ear…

He obviously makes a very good point. How can we decipher the real ‘us’ and recognise what drives our thinking? He prescribes the power in making a list (not one to share as this is secret squirrel stuff) writing down the beliefs you hold dear and understanding if they are really your own thoughts or something that’s been wired in.

Dain says “We’ve been taught from the time we were little to define ourselves, to figure out where we ‘fit in’. The thing is, that definition creates our own limitations, leads to our judgment of us. If you didn’t have to define you, how much could you enjoy being you? Imagine for a moment if you had no name, no past and no definitions of who, what, when, where, how and why you were supposed to be? What would you choose?”

Oprah quote

It makes me stop and think about my own boundaries I’ve created … here’s a random example and the first one that comes to mind. I was brought up in a family that politically always leaned to the right. Mum has been a one-eyed Liberal voter all her life, so well before I was even interested in politics, I held strong views that reflected my family’s values and beliefs. I just figured that’s part of me and how I ‘fit in’ with everybody else.

But of course when you get older these values, whatever they are, don’t always create the harmonious life we’d like to live. And as you can’t change people, what DO you change?

How do we honour our own true beliefs when others put them to the test? How often do we accept a situation or have a conversation with someone where our feelings are compromised?

This week I gave a keynote at a business conference on the Sunshine Coast in QLD and I made the point that to be successful in life and in business you need strong connections and partnerships with like-minded people but funnily enough, the most important relationship is the one with yourself.

Dain has an amazing back story to his life, which I encourage you to listen to here – DAIN HEER and has profoundly changed his life for the better. He now teaches us that we also have the power to take control, live a life of infinite possibilities and create more joy and happiness. And who doesn’t want that!

I’m so thrilled that we’ve encouraged Dain to join us as our first BalanceBDH male coach and look forward to him sharing is infinite wisdom to better help the relationship we have with our true self.



Deborah Hutton

Deborah Hutton is the publisher of Balance by Deborah Hutton. She is passionate about helping woman to define their own recipe for balance

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