Is the hustle and bustle of the holiday season wearing you out? Does the franticness of the shopping, dinner parties and family gatherings leave you feeling tired, less than satisfied… maybe even sad and depressed? Do you find yourself counting the days until Christmas, not because you are excited to celebrate, but because you are looking forward to the relief of it all being over?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are not alone. The expectations of the holiday season can take their toll on all of us. The pressure of buying the best gifts, cooking the perfect dinner and making sure that family all gets along leaves many of us anxious and desperately wishing for it to all be over.
If you find yourself suffering from a case of the Christmas blues, there are a few simple and pragmatic things you can do to turn that around and actually enjoy the holiday season.
- Let go of expectations.
Here are some examples of expectations regarding the holidays. “I HAVE to go to my parent’s house. I don’t have a choice.” Or, “My kids are so insensitive. After all I’ve done for them, you would think they would remember me at this time of the year. What’s the matter with them?” And, “I hate shopping and buying presents for people. But I have to. Everyone else does.”
All of these are expectations about how things should and shouldn’t be, about what is expected and what is required.
Would you be willing to let go of all expectations? Including expectations of you? What if you could let go of everything you’ve decided about the holidays and allow something new to show up?
- Don’t try to fix things for unhappy people.
Spending time with family can be stressful. Let others be unhappy if they choose. Happiness is a choice, so you do not need to take responsibility for others’ unhappiness. If others are unhappy, it’s not your job to change it. “It’s your job to be happy which shows them that there are other choices available, if and when they want a different choice.
- Let go of financial stress and get creative.
If you’re stressed out financially, get creative. Gather your friends and suggest that you all give to a charity instead of giving gifts. That will allow you to spend your hard-earned cash on the people in your life that require it of you most. Or perhaps make cookies for those you care about. Those that truly care about you will be grateful for the thought and the time spent.
- Choose what works for you
What if this holiday season you could take a look at what would be fun for you and what if you actually allowed yourself to choose it? We have this crazy idea that in order to prove our love and care for the people in our lives, we must sacrifice ourselves. We must make it all about everyone else. And, we must live up to the expectations and projections of others. Something else is possible. Kindness and care for others starts with kindness and care for you. What if this holiday season you included you in the festivities. What works for you? What would be fun for you? What contributes to you and your body? Get clear on these things and then CHOOSE. When you include you in the creation of your life, everyone benefits.
- When you start feeling blue, ask questions
Often times, when feelings of sadness start to overwhelm, we spiral down very quickly. Questions are one of the most powerful tools available to us. When you notice feelings of sadness, anxiety or depression, if rather than simply giving in to those feelings you would ask a question, you can turn things around very quickly.
A few great questions to ask are “What else is possible here? How does it get any better than this?” You can also ask, “What would it take for this holiday season to turn out better than I could imagine?”
A joyful holiday season is possible. Even if everyone around you is frantic, overwhelmed or has a strong case of the Christmas blues. If you will let go of expectations, stop trying to make fix things for other people, ask questions and choose for you, you will chase those blues away and truly have the joy and celebration of Christmas.
ABOUT DAIN HEER
Dr. Dain Heer is an internationally renowned author, speaker and facilitator of consciousness and change. Co-creator of Access Consciousness, Dr. Heer invites people to embrace their true greatness—people from every culture, country, age and social strata of society. Originally trained as a chiropractor, he has a completely different approach to healing by facilitating people to tap into and recognize their own abilities and knowing. He is the author of 9 books including, Being You, Changing the World, which is now an international bestseller. A guest on hundreds of nationally syndicated radio and TV shows including Fox News and Gaiam TV, Dr. Heer also hosts a regular radio show called Conversations in Consciousness. Follow @dr_dainheer