With so many apps and online dating sites for singles, finding the first date can be a relatively simple process. But dating and then finding the right partner is something different according to relationship expert and mentor Yvonne Allen.
Yvonne Allen is the founder of Australia’s professional executive dating and introduction agency, Yvonne Allen & Associates, relationship expert and mentor, author, public speaker and social commentator.
Yvonne Allen’s 4 tips to dating and finding the right partner
Don’t meet after work
Yvonne suggests that post work dates can often turn into a discussion focused on careers and work leading to a “business colleague” scenario. If weekends aren’t an option, Yvonne advises her clients to “do something to put yourself into a different space” which might be as simple as changing your outfit.
Find a common interest activity for your first date
In order to find common ground, Yvonne proposes structuring the date around an activity that can create a common point of discussion during the date. E.g, visiting an art gallery or taking an interesting scenic walk followed by a coffee.
“Otherwise they can often become like inquisitions,” said Yvonne.
Take the pressure off
Yvonne advises her clients to resist the pressure of pondering if your date could be “the one”.
“We’ve got too much expectation about the surface,” said Yvonne referring to dating sites where potential dates are selected based on looks alone.
Yvonne promotes getting to know the potential partner before deciding if they are a good match.
“Many of our clients who have married either through us or later, got back to us and said they would never have recognised their partner because they had another thing in their mind about what this person was going to look like,” said Yvonne.
“When we used to marry the boy next door or the girl at the next desk, it wasn’t that we had the hots for them, we’d grown to know them and care for them,” she said.
Yvonne Allen e-book: Love Today. What’s Gender Got To Do With It?!
Many of the single men and women who have met their partner through my consultancy would not have thought that their first date would result in love on the basis of their initial meeting.
However, given that we always encourage them to meet a second time or more, expectations of what ‘was missing’ diminished as they appreciated and enjoyed each other for ‘what was’! No matter whether you meet potential partners through dating online, matchmaking, in social situations, the workplace or by chance, be open to appreciating what each person has to offer rather than focusing on what doesn’t fit your expectations. Removing your blinkers could open wonderful possibilities!!
About Yvonne Allen
Yvonne Allen is an author, public speaker, matchmaker and relationship consultant and has been recognised in Australia and abroad for the work of her consultancy and as one of Australia’s leading businesswomen. In 2000 she was profiled by BRW as one of Australia’s leading innovators. Yvonne is a contributor to several publications on social issues and is also a sought after media commentator.